My sister is going away to school. She is following me to Berkeley. Well, not following me, but she also will be enrolled in Berkeley starting next semester. It has become one of the questions along with the other questions, which include “where are you going to school?” “what classes are you taking?” “what else are you doing outside of school?” “what are you doing with that? what are you doing after graduation?” This new question goes “how do you feel about your sister going to Berkeley, too?”
As I have told everyone who has asked, I am excited. I know that we are very different in terms of personality and thus I forecast that we may not spend as much time together as we had under one roof at home.
“She is so lucky! She will have a sister to show her the ropes!” They often chime in. I respond that of course I will be here to catch her if she falls and help her where I can, but I do not intend to hold her hand.
When I went, I was the eldest of the family to go to school straight from high school. I did not know exactly how much of anything worked. Aside from this, I found going away very liberating and a time when I grew the most. I do not want to hinder any of my sister’s growth by coddling. She is smart. She will be ok.
But I do have a few points of advice for my sister as a freshman:
1.) Remember what you stand for. It’s cliche. Yes, I know. But, it is one of the most important things I can tell you. You are entering a mix of people unlike anything we have seen at home. It is beautiful, but I have seen others become too fully absorbed into these different activities, beliefs, etc. You have to decide if you want to change or if what you believe is strong enough, and good enough for you to hold onto.
2.) Don’t take everything at face value. In classes up until now, we have been trained to accept everything the teacher says. They are almost as infallible as the pope in some regards. Not now. Question everything. It proves for not only good banter at coffee shops, but the best use of your time in learning. Outside of the classroom, do the same. The people you will meet are unknowns until you get to know them. Be open, but be wary, too.
3.) Trust your gut. It is not always obvious how to make the most rational decision. And when it is, it is often the most difficult.
4.) Try new things. I know you don’t like cheese, but please, please, please! try the food in Berkeley. It is amazing! Aside from food, try classes, try making friends with people, etc. that you had never thought to before. If there is a time it’s now. (But, please, within reason).
5.) You love home. I do, too. But at school, it is sometimes hard for me to think about home. I still sometimes cry when I see mom and dad have to leave. My best advice for this is to think of college life and home life separately. When you leave one, you enter the other. Like the food on your plate, how you hate when they touch; for the first few weeks at least try to keep these two spheres of your life separate. See if it helps.
6.) Make friends. For me this was difficult. For you, I doubt you will have much of a problem. It took me a while to see the real face of many of my friends, while for others, upon first meeting I knew we would be friends for a very long time. When you find someone with whom you can Gilmore Girls, ride Vespas, and study, you might have found a BFF.
7.) Do your homework. I remember thinking about going away to school the entire summer prior and playing music to get myself pumped. School is actually school! Go to class. Try to pass. Get help if you don’t understand. It’s cool to do well.
8.) Figuring out your major seems daunting at first. Something they don’t tell you is many majors can be finished in a short amount of time. The catch is that it may be difficult to get your classes (think of Psychology). Take classes that interest you. Be realistic, to a certain extent (will this help me get a job). First understand what you like. Then think how can I use this in the real world?
9.) You will not have time to exercise like you do now. Figure out your priorities. Make lists, or whatever works for you. To get everything done while staying healthy is a challenge.
10.) Have fun. You got into school. You have me but a 10-minute walk away or a phone call away. I’m always here to help you.
Gabriella Gini 
